by Elaine Ash and Albert Tucher
Dateline April 29th 2:45 A.M. Spinetingler Press Bunker, Room 1665, Grand Hyatt Hotel, New York City.
Elaine Ash and Al Tucher report on the Edgar Awards.
“How many more nights and weird mornings can this terrible shit go on? How long can the body and the braintolerate this doom-struck craziness? This grinding of teeth, this pouring of sweat, this pounding of blood in the temples…small blue veins gone amok in front of the ears, sixty and seventy hours with no sleep…”
Excerpt from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter Thompson
Elaine’s been up since 7 A.M. on Wednesday. She’s doing energy shots of Acai smuggled in from LA, expressly for the trip. Al’s doing a little better but not by much, on mainline caffeine. They both drank waaay too much at Otto Penzler’s afterparty but it’s too late for regrets.
ELAINE ASH: Al, whaddya got?
AL TUCHER: I met Molly Friedrich at the awards reception. If you were to ask who is the top agent in New York, many people would answer with Molly’s name. So we’re standing there quaffing cocktails and she asks me what I write about, and it got to the point where I had to tell her I’d already queried her. She said, “Uh oh, did I turn your down?” Awkward! But I said she’d done it considerately and it was just business. Then I threw my drink in her face and stomped off. NOT.
Elaine: I got into the nominees pre-party and Harlan Coben smiled right at me. Or maybe he had gas. It sure looked like a smile though. Seriously, he almost ran me over coming out of the men’s room/ He’s a BIG MAN! And handsome in a rugged way. I should stop there…
Al: I’ve heard him tell the story that he used to be an All-American basketball player in college. What that really meant was the Jewish Times went across the country and managed to find five Jewish ball players.
Elaine: One of the best-dressed men there was Lewis Gross, who cut quite a swathe in a cream straw fedora. He also had a very interesting shirt. Lewis writes about a tango-dancing holistic dentist. Which is funny because that describes Lewis to a “t.”
Al: Juliet Grames of Soho Press invited me to join her table. They do literary fiction and crime series set in unusual locations outside the US. There were 12 of us at the Soho table, and I sat between two lovely young women. When I say young, one of them graduated high school in 2006, which can’t be legal. I was already slapping myself for my own evil thoughts when Lisa Scottoline at the podium seemed to be reading my mind. She started riffing on 65-year-old men chasing young women and I thought, My God, she’s up there talking about me! I was about to stand up and scream, “Yes, I confess!” when she clarified that it was the Edgar awards that are 65 years old. I just feel 65 anytime after 9:00.
Elaine: Let’s move on to the ceremony and festivities. I must say, the libations were extremely free-flowing. We started with an open bar in the ballroom lobby and moved on to endless bottles of red and white wines. Good stuff too, not plonk like my usual fare.
I sat at the Oceanview Publishing table with the partners and management. They were nominated for Thrillers: 100 Must Reads, edited by David Morrell (creator of Rambo) and Hank Wagner, who got his first editing credit on the book. The book goes deep inside the most notable 100 reads over the centuries and critical essays that compare them. It sounds like a goldmine for writers. I’m not doing justice to it here, because I’m brain-addled from sleep-deprivation, but if you Google it, there’s a great explanation on Amazon. Sadly, Oceanview lost out to Charlie Chan: The Untold Story of the Honorable Detective and his Rendevouz with American History. When the author, Yunte Huang, gave his acceptance speech he said, “Murder like potato chip; cannot stop at just one.”
In the morning I’ll be submitting s list of “most notable quotes” from the rest of the speeches. Some very good stuff in there. Plus, a detailed description of Michael Connelly eating his mushroom soup in puff pastry. Okay, maybe not. He must be very busy promoting The Lincoln Lawyer which is in movie theatres everywhere starring Matthew McCona-what-his-name, but he still took a plane out to the Edgars.
Are you tired Al?
Al: ZZZZZzzzzzzzz.
Elaine: More after a few hours shut-eye.
END
