Eric Beetner’s Dig Two Graves is the Nerd’s kind of shit, dear reader. It’s dark, funny, fast, and gleefully, wonderfully wrong entertainment. It starts out with ex-con Val getting pinched by the cops for some bank jobs he’s got in the works. Thing is, nobody but his partner and secret lover Ernesto knows about them, hence Ernesto must have ratted on him. After his crazy-ass wife violently breaks him out of jail, Val goes on a night long journey through the city with vengeance against Ernesto on his mind.
It’s a fucking nasty little ride, my dear basement crazy, as Val jumps out of the frying pan and into the fire over and over, getting more fucked up and fucking more folks up with each chapter. Beetner handles tension like a veteran and the action and suspense sequences are a fucking hoot, but what really sets this novella apart is Val’s voice. The tough guy, “I’m not gay but my boyfriend is” thin veil that hangs over the way in which Val relates his betrayal and quest for revenge makes for comedy both intentional and unintentional on his part, and anyone lacking a truly sick sense of humor is fairly fucking warned to steer clear of Dig Two Graves.
Because this is the type of deranged pulp that, before the ebook revolution made it just a couple clicks away (and for crazy cheap, I might add), you would have had to ask around for, that you would have heard rumors about but the guy at your local indie mystery could neither confirm nor deny the book’s existence. If such dangerous and exciting shit sounds like it’s up yout twisted-as-all-hell alley, the Nerd advises you to pick this shit up toot-fucking-sweet before the government gets wind of it and it goes the way of the original Four Loko. (It could happen!)