Hard Bite by Anonymous-9 – review

Dean Drayhart was struck by a hit-and-run driver three years ago, the accident costing him his daughter’s life, the use of his legs and a marriage.  In the years since he’s gained a prostitute girlfriend named Cinda, a brilliant helper monkey named Sid, a fat disability check every month, and a taste for murder.

He’s taken up vigilantism, using various methods to find people who’ve killed folks in hit-and-run accidents and then taking them out with the help of Sid.  (Sid’s eye teeth were never filed down, making them excellent for chomping down on a victim’s neck.)  But when one of his victim’s turns out to be the beloved son of a merciless Sinaloa Cartel boss’ widow named Orella, it soon looks like Drayhart’s gonna lose more than just his legs in the aftermath.

Anonymous-9’s debut novel Hard Bite sounds like a fucking hoot of a novel, but don’t think that this shit is an all-out wacky-fest like a Carl Hiaasen novel or some shit like that.  Hard Bite is soaked in humor both dark and absurd, but she still brings the thrills and makes the stakes count something fierce.

We alternate throughout between a first-person perspective from Drayhart and third person accounts of other characters like the detective on Drayhart’s tail, Cinda,  Orella, and even Sid himself.  Thing is, none of these characters are cartoons, with even the “villain” Orella getting plenty of dimension as the novel goes along.

So if you’re a basement noir junkie who thinks Hard Bite sounds too silly to get down with you’re dead fucking wrong, and if you’re a Kinky Friedman-style comic crime fan you’re in for more darkness than you’d ever expect.  Basically, Hard Bite is the type of shit that’s directly up the Nerd’s creepy little alley and the bookworld is a vastly better place for it.  Bring on the next one toot-fucking-sweet, A-9!

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Nerd of Noir

I love crime/noir fiction, comics and movies. I think my opinions are web-worthy. Then again, what asshole doesn't think that their opinions deserve a blog?

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4 comments for “Hard Bite by Anonymous-9 – review

  1. December 6, 2012 at 12:28 am

    Nerd, thank you! Hell of a review and you’re no pushover. A lot of people respect your opinion and listen, so I’m really thankful for your stamp of approval.

  2. December 6, 2012 at 9:56 am

    There’s nothing like this book. Grab it. Seriously.

  3. rockman
    December 9, 2012 at 11:50 pm

    Reading this was a blast. Put it high on your ‘to read’ list.

  4. December 13, 2012 at 10:28 am

    I’m a huge fan of anything in the helper monkey genre and this one ranks right up there with John Vernon’s PETER DOYLE in that category. For some reason, Anonymous Elaine (guess that’s over, right?) thought it was weird that I got in a reference to Napoleon’s penis, but it seemed right to me… I guess she liked the review as she gave me her Virtual Brass Monkey Award and it’s sitting proudly right now on my (virtual) mantel, surrounded by my Fatboy posters of Cheryl Tiegs and Pee Wee Herman (don’t ask–long story…). This is one hot-ass book–get it!

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