Dean Drayhart was struck by a hit-and-run driver three years ago, the accident costing him his daughter’s life, the use of his legs and a marriage. In the years since he’s gained a prostitute girlfriend named Cinda, a brilliant helper monkey named Sid, a fat disability check every month, and a taste for murder.
He’s taken up vigilantism, using various methods to find people who’ve killed folks in hit-and-run accidents and then taking them out with the help of Sid. (Sid’s eye teeth were never filed down, making them excellent for chomping down on a victim’s neck.) But when one of his victim’s turns out to be the beloved son of a merciless Sinaloa Cartel boss’ widow named Orella, it soon looks like Drayhart’s gonna lose more than just his legs in the aftermath.
Anonymous-9’s debut novel Hard Bite sounds like a fucking hoot of a novel, but don’t think that this shit is an all-out wacky-fest like a Carl Hiaasen novel or some shit like that. Hard Bite is soaked in humor both dark and absurd, but she still brings the thrills and makes the stakes count something fierce.
We alternate throughout between a first-person perspective from Drayhart and third person accounts of other characters like the detective on Drayhart’s tail, Cinda, Orella, and even Sid himself. Thing is, none of these characters are cartoons, with even the “villain” Orella getting plenty of dimension as the novel goes along.
So if you’re a basement noir junkie who thinks Hard Bite sounds too silly to get down with you’re dead fucking wrong, and if you’re a Kinky Friedman-style comic crime fan you’re in for more darkness than you’d ever expect. Basically, Hard Bite is the type of shit that’s directly up the Nerd’s creepy little alley and the bookworld is a vastly better place for it. Bring on the next one toot-fucking-sweet, A-9!