Best True Crimes of 2012
1) Guy steals Chinese food delivery car, and then delivers the pilfered meals.
2) Solider shoots friend while trying to cure friend’s hiccups.
3) Guy calls the cops to report a robbery, after the prostitute he’s doing asks for additional funds.
4) Guy beats his girlfriend for supposedly cheating on him, after he sees a facebook photo of another man on her wall. The other man, Mitt Romney, in a campaign photo.
5) Hit and run driver arrested. He claims he didn’t stop after rear-ending a truck because his ice cream would melt.
6) 72 year old man threatens his neighbor with a gun after the neighbor farted outside the elderly man’s apartment
7) Author shoots himself and blames a drive by shooter to promote his book on hitchhiking across America
8) A mom sprays Lysol on teens at a dance for dancing too close
9) An actor gets falsely arrested for a crime he reenacted on TV, after a viewer turns him in
10) A fight breaks out at a nursing home when one man threw mac & cheese in the other man’s face